


Sung songs and broken hopes

by prinz_charlie



Category: We Are The Tigers - Allen
Genre: One-Shot, Post-Canon, get over it, pre-canon riley/eva mentioned, riley/eva pre-canon is a hill i'll die on, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24137050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prinz_charlie/pseuds/prinz_charlie
Summary: Eva goes to visit Riley in prison. She can't bear to let her go without clearing things up.
Relationships: Eva Sanchez & Riley Williams
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	Sung songs and broken hopes

**Author's Note:**

> enojy (:

Eva swallowed the lump in her throat, staring at Riley through the glass pane that separated them. The girl she was looking at was the shell of the girl she had once shared secret kisses and hugs with. There were bags under her eyes, either from sleepless nights or from endless crying. She was clenching her fists, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Eva immediately recognized it as her attempt at protecting herself.

She remembered the one time she had come over to Riley’s house to visit her and upon opening the door to her room had found her then-girlfriend sitting on her bed, her arms wrapped around her legs that were pulled up to her chest. Like a deer in the headlights, her fearful gaze had shot up. “E-”, she choked out under ragged breaths.

"Riley!" Eva immediately let her bag fall to the ground and ran over to Riley, gathering her in her arms. “Eva, wha-?”

Eva pulled her as close as she could, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Calm down, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

Riley gasped for air. “I- Go”, she pressed out.

“No”, Eva objected, her voice shaking a little with worry about her clearly panicking girlfriend. “No, I won’t go. I don’t care what it is, I’m here for you”, she insisted, let her hand run through Riley’s hair. Riley looked at her big-eyed, a tear rolling down her cheek. She opened her mouth, but Eva softly shook her head. “No.” She planted a kiss on her shaking girlfriend's hair, who seemed so vulnerable - like she’d shatter any second. “I’ll stay.”

That’s exactly what Riley looked like now. Vulnerable, small, at her breaking point. And though Eva felt a cold, burying weight on her shoulders as soon as she looked at Riley, something inside of her still wanted to hug the redhead and hold her together – save the parts she could still save and slowly help Riley rebuild herself. She wanted the girl she once would’ve given the world to, to know that she had deserved it. To know that she would’ve deserved the world and more. And she wanted her to know that right now she deserved someone to tell her that things were going to be ok. She deserved help and going on to live a happy life. She deserved…

“Hi”, Riley’s crackling voice from the earpiece ripped Eva from her thoughts. She was holding the earpiece with one hand, her other hand resting in her lap.

Eva struggled for words, burying her hands in the pockets of her pants. She picked up the earpiece. “Hey”, she said, her voice cracking. “How- how are you?”

Riley shrugged. “As good as one can be…”

“Are the people nice at least?”, Eva made another attempt at getting her to talk - at trying to make her day at least a little better. Everyone deserved to have a good day.

Riley hesitated, eventually nodding. “Yes, I mean, they’re not…” She trailed off. 

“Not the team”, Eva completed her sentence in her head. Riley had never been close with anyone in the team except for Cairo, Eva had picked up that much. But nevertheless, she knew that Riley cared about the team. It was the one thing she could control. Probably the one thing that made her feel safe, considering her home and the bags of crap that she called her parents.

“I get that”, Eva answered silently. “Are you- are you any better?”, she asked cautiously, her voice breaking as if she was the one who was imprisoned for losing it. The real reason was still too painful to think of…

Riley looked at her, her eyes big and watery. Apparently, this hurt her as well, more than Eva would’ve ever imagined. She struggled for words, nothing leaving her mouth. It was just like the time when Eva had found Riley in her room, having a panic attack. Only now this cold, big weight on her shoulders wandered to her chest and the pit of her stomach and made her feel nauseous at the sheer thought of hugging Riley.

“I-“ Riley’s voice broke.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to”, Eva immediately added, cursing herself for the question and fighting back the urge to let the tears burning in the corners of her eyes roll down her cheeks.

Riley shook her head. Eva noticed her arms twitching nervously, indicating that she was probably fidgeting with something in her hand that was lain in her lap. “I- I’m trying to get there”, she gulped out silently.

“Riley”, Eva breathed out. “I- you’re not alone, you know that, right?”

Riley nodded, staring down.

Someone tapped Eva on the shoulder, and she spun around, sheepishly wiping a tear away. “You have two minutes left”, a security guard told her, sounding like he couldn’t care less about what was going on. His gaze wandered to Riley and then back to Eva. “If you want us to take her away…”

“No, no, it’s ok”, Eva practically stumbled over the words. “Two minutes is fine.” The security guard nodded and turned around, going back to the corner of the room, patiently waiting, and always keeping an examining look at the clock. Eva turned back to Riley. “We have two minutes”, she murmured.

Riley nodded and looked up a little. “I know, I heard.”

“Ok”, Eva mumbled. If she wanted to get it out, she’d have to do it now. “I want you to know that you’re not alone”, she started, picking her lip. “You- you’re deserving of help and people being there for you and you- you’re allowed to ask for help, Riley.” She looked at Riley, her eyes watering. “You could’ve talked to me”, she whispered, her voice shaking. “I- Riley, I always told you that I’d be there for you, nothing about that has changed. Nothing about that will ever change, you- you’re not alone.” Riley disappeared behind her glassy eyes. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”, she choked out silently.

Riley blinked tears away, opening and closing her mouth, not a sound leaving it.

Eva stared at her, struggling to fight back the tears again. “Every day I think about what I could’ve done only for things to turn out differently, and I just can’t figure it out. I don’t get what…”

“Ms. Sanchez”, the security man cleared his throat. “Your time is up.”

Eva looked at him and wiped away the tears. “Ok”, she nodded. She looked back at Riley one last time. “Please let the people here help you”, she said, emphasizing every word. She forced herself to take a breath and gathered herself. Or at least pretended to gather herself. “You deserve help, Riley.”

She put the earpiece down and got up, not daring to look back at the broken redhead one last time. The security guard showed her outside, and she thanked him with a forced smile. She put on her denim jacket. The cold weight on her shoulders didn’t disappear until she brought a few feet of distance between herself and the prison and forced everything that she had just said and thought of into a box at the back of her head.

Before she was able to ride her bike back home, she had to sit down at the curb, watching cars speed by. Her whole body was shaking, her eyes were filling with new tears and her mind was being flooded with every single memory she had of Riley and her together. And once again she wished for someone to gather her in their arms and hold her.

Hold her together.

**Author's Note:**

> welp that hurt. thanks to the wattcord (especially icarus and nic) for letting the brain cell explode again, they're the only reason this exists! thanks for reading, & i'll read you next time!
> 
> follow me on tumblr (@ haveuseenmylife) if you want to


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